The last time I wrote here, I was in the middle of a pitching slump that wouldn’t quit. I sent my best ideas to editors, only to hear the disquieting cricket chirp/existential Sound of Silence by way of a reply. It was dispiriting — and it’s a cyclical reality that every writer and artist faces. So I kept pitching.
And then The Establishment picked up an essay I wrote about Roxane Gay: her recent comments on NPR’s “This American Life: Tell Me I’m Fat” and my own narrow judgments of her more recent writing on being fat and female, as well as how my body image has changed, and changed, and changed again. My piece “Roxane Gay, I’m Sorry I Wasn’t Listening” found an audience. It was shared by Roxane herself, which is such an honor. A week later, my name and a portion of my essay were both featured in The Atlantic column “This Week in Pop Culture Writing,” a list that started with none other than Pulitzer Prize-winning Emily Nussbaum and ended with… me. I reacted, of course, as any rational person would:
Once the joyful reality set in, more good news came — Tegan and Sara had shared my essay on their Twitter page!
And then, well… let’s just say that:
I don’t need air
I don’t need to breathe
I kept writing about my body all summer long. I wrote about accepting my stomach at the sensory deprivation spa, my summers as a plus-size lifeguard and whether it’s easier to be fat, proud and in a relationship for Ravishly. Then, I wrote a short essay for Role/Reboot about another plus-size writer/actor Tami Sagher and how her fat’s unremarked-upon presence in the film Don’t Think Twice was an act of feminist revolution .
And now, my fifth contribution to an anthology — the essay “How About a Hug?” — is available in ebook and print form in How Does That Make You Feel: True Confessions from Both Sides of the Therapy Couch (Seal Press), which is officially out and in the world. You can order a copy from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, IndieBound and Powell’s Books — please support feminist publishing!
Bonus good news: my 2015 essay in Autostraddle, “She Wouldn’t Give Me Up” — which is a riff on Fatal Attraction, alcoholism, co-dependency and one of my first queer relationships — was featured in the site’s round-up, The Autostraddle Guide to Queer Mental Health. You can read an excerpt below and the entire essay here: